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Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Romance Dead in Hollywood: Jessica Simpson to Deliver the Eulogy

I am becoming tired of seeing and reading about entertainment personalities involved in ugly break-ups, separations and divorce proceedings. It seems I can't go any where to avoid the constant barrage of gossip surrounding Charlie vs. Denise, Paula vs. Ryan, Jessica vs. Nick, etc., etc.

It's not that I don't feel sorry for them. It must be very hard to go through life and have to make so many important and critical decisions; like what color of lipstick to wear on the red carpet or which "after party" to attend. With the world hanging in the balance, the sheer weight of these problems must have a significant impact on their stress levels.

Liz Taylor serves as a testiment that healthy relationships have never been Hollywood's "strong suit", having been married 8 times. I am not sure if she is a jewellery collector, but she would have enough wedding rings to open a store. Maybe she negotiated some kind of a royalty program where you marry 6 times and get two extra weddings for free?

Bionic Buddha has a great instructional guide for men who are aiming to surprise their spouse. Check out "The Modern Man's Guide to the Jet Age Girl", and learn how to put the "spicy" back into the meatball and the "real" back into the relationship.


Anonymous fanboy said...

celebrities make me puke...honestly, it has to be the ultimate form of insecurity...I mean what well adjusted individual would ever crave that level of wonder they come across batty. They are!

6:56 PM

Anonymous vishnubuiltmyhotrod said...

Hey Waterfowler, how you been? Miss you and your crazy ass comments. I know I haven't posted in a while, but I'm back.

8:14 PM

Anonymous tico said...

I remember, around the time Kenneth Branagh (who?) put out Frankenstein he fell in love with Helen Bonham Carter and dumped his fiance at that time, Emma Thompson. Carter was quoted as saying, "a third party doesn't end a relationship, it wasn't meant to be". No doubt to sooth a guilty conscience for being a home wrecker.Well, we all know how that relationship ended...right Mrs. Burton?

8:21 PM

Anonymous loulou said...

I don't know about you but I find this "era" we're going through to be the preachy era... let me explain myself and the correlation with this media trials about people's private lives, if I can. For a bunch of babyboomers that control most outlets, and maybe some Generation-Xers, oh and what the heck those all-powerful tweens, the focus is much too much on what the other person is doing, rather than leading original lives. I feel the insidious presence of this firing range type juries present everywhere... in reality shows, where participation means taking on a certain authority at amateur level. Orson Welles deplored the fact that ordinary people became critics in the place of actual professional critics and I suppose my rambling leads me to this: everybody's a critic, basically. Hence the interest in the fodder. It spells to me that the more you stare, you actually become cross-eyed figuratively and this is the left-overs from that. To bring this back to preachy, take all the pop psychology advice being dispensed on talk shows, and who better than celebrities to lend themselves as archetypal figures by the mere remoteness of their lives and the desire by audiences to want to compare themselves if not on the celebrities' playing fields than at least in their mediocrity. When you think about it... who inspires you? And where do you draw inspiration when the muck is all around? I call all this human composting. I don't take credit for the term but it's certainly evocative. You guys are lucky to be standing on the edge with the latest technologies, your creativity, and your personal drives. You're the ones we're turning to to see where else away from the trash we can go and make new worlds. Set your sights higher and higher.

10:43 PM

Blogger miZ said...

Well, when we aren't being barraged with celebrity break-ups, we are being innundated with celeb babies... pregnancy announcements, shocking baby names, adoptions. And apparently the powers that be in most gossip columns would have us believe that it is a new craze in Hollywood to have children. Wha? People, including celebs, have been procreating for as long as I know. I think that they are a bit more willing to discuss their families (including their problems with families, aka break-ups) for a little more of the lime lite. I guess it's getting to the point that any "buzz" they can create around themselves is good. It keeps the masses interested in them, keeps them in the forefront.

4:12 PM


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