IKEA selling hotdogs?

I recently came across an article that stated the Ikea catalogue had surpassed the bible as the largest circulating publication in the world. The new 2007 Ikea Canada catalogue certainly puts new meaning to the term, a “balls out” business approach. The inside of a two-page, front-cover foldout portrays a family lounging on a bed with a dog that appears to a large human-like appendage that would make Tommy Lee envious. Ikea officials in Canada have denied rumors that a disgruntled employee manipulated the image in Photoshop claiming, " The picture has definitely not been tampered with…We saw this particular photo when the prints came through here in Canada....but we can definitely say this is a picture of a dog's leg, and it is not something else."
Ikea CEO Anders Dahlvig reported that he couldn’t bear any further cracks about “Swedish meatballs” or “wiener schnitzel”. After seeing the catalogue’s inside cover Burlington, Ontario resident and housewife Agnes Pullman promptly exclaimed “for heaven’s sake, think of the children”. Eden Fantasy adult toy shop owner, Morgan Steele appeared puzzled by the new catalogue stating, “I thought the Germans were into this stuff…but the Swedes?…I mean, they like their Seka, but this other stuff?”
Swedish car manufacturer Volvo is also hoping to cash in the notoriety of the catalogue and have decided to add two new vehicles to their Fall 2008 lineup, included will be the KY 300 series and the new fuel/battery hybrid SUV dubbed the Astroglide.
As for Ikea, the home-furnishing company's catalogues have come under scrutiny in the past as its publications have developed an online cult following as mysterious cat pictures, Mickey Mouse references and weird publications wedged into book shelves in catalogue images have been discovered.

wicked easy Gelaskins contest week 4

We're in week four of our wicked easy Gelaskins contest...We still have lots of skins to give away.....So here's your chance to win one for yourself. Now get on with it and answer the following trivia question: What phrase does bionicbuddha/V5TV television anchor utter at the end of each episode of Mostly Weird News?...and to make things really easy, here's a link to the Mostly Weird News homepage. Click the image above to take you to the Gelaskins site to choose a skin and email us at contact@bionicbuddha.com with your trivia answer and skin preference. As we are starting to run down our supplies some choices may be limited.
Have fun.

missing in action

There's a new episode of Rewired posted on our main site and be alert as week 4 of our Gelaskins contest is approaching. There have been a number of lucky winners in our ongoing contest and we are eagerly waiting for pictures we hope to post soon. The new Rewired episode features some lost footage from Rewired. Check it out at bionicbuddha.com/rewired
Thanks to Stumble Records for the ongoing support as well.
Thank you for viewing.
Peace.

Osama Bin Laden: Ain't nobody humpin' around

A bizzare story has surfaced which has Osama bin Laden, the mastermind of terror group al-Qaeda, as a former fan of singer Whitney Houston; such that he once considered marriage and having her husband Bobby Brown killed.

Sudanese poet and novelist Kola Boof, who says she was kept against her will as Bin Laden’s mistress for four months in 1996, makes the revelation in her new autobiography. According to the author, “He said he wanted to give her a mansion he owned in a suburb of Khartoum."

Our sources could not reach Bobby for comment, although it is believed he said:

"Everybody's talking all this stuff about me.
Why don't they just let me live?
Tell me why I don't need commission
Make my own decisions
That's my prerogative"

In Boof's autobiography she reckons Bin Laden also had a taste for Western literature. “In his briefcase I would come across photographs of the Star magazine, as well as copies of Playboy,” she wrote.

More surprising is that he would also “ramble on” about his favourite TV shows ‘Miami Vice’, ‘The Wonder Years’ and ‘MacGyver’, she claimed.

I think we can all excuse the occasional pining for western literature as well as strong interests in TV...but Miami Vice? I think even Don Johnson's family considered having him killed after the series.

TP - Title Plot

There are a rare few titles that can sum up an entire movie in one sentence - the "Title-Plot" movies (yes, we made it up or 'coined it' if you will) or "T.P." for short (I am aware of the other acronym which is quite appropriate for these types of movies).

"Snakes on a Plane" did just that. There is no underlying message, there is no subplot or subtext that you have to see the movie to understand. You just need the T.P.

Cheers to the people at New Line Cinema graphics department (thanks Sherry Wilchowski!) for giving BB a shout out on the "SOAP" poster; hidden in the scales of the snakes. Clever boys & girls there are New Line...

Wicked Easy, Gelaskins contest week 3

We're in week three now of our Gelaskins contest...bionicbuddha blog regular Freak Magnet won a skin along with some other contestants. Freak Girl, you've yet to tell us your ipod style so we can ship you your gelaskin...you gotta hit that girl and get back to us. We have lots of skins to give away...and the contest is wicked easy...Ok, here's the question: Which music video on the V5TV/bionicbuddha show Vsides features "stripper imagery"? Tell us the name of the band and song...and to make things really easy, here's a link to the Vsides homepage. Click the image above to take you to the Gelaskins site to choose a skin and email us at contact@bionicbuddha.com with your trivia answer and skin preference.
Have fun.

What's eating Val Kilmer?

Val Kilmer has been found. He did not move to South East Asia to pursue philosophical ideals or learn a new dialect from Central American aboriginals. He was not kidnapped by a tribe of Indonesian cannibals or abducted by aliens from a distant planet. It turns out he has been working as a short-order chef in a Jacksonville International House of Pancakes.

It is hard to believe that he has been successful in bridging this career transition, when so many other celebrities have failed to launch second-phase careers. When he was asked what was the most challenging aspect of his job, Kilmer responded, "I love my job, because I like pancakes, and I love bacon". My hat is off to Val...the man who put "honest" back into the phrase "an honest day's work".

Gelaskins contest week 2

We're in week two of our Gelaskins contest, having given away one of our awesome Gelaskins to a lucky winner in Reston, Virginia. We hope to post some pictures of our winners with their awesome new ipod skins on the blog. So now...not only do you win a fabulously cool skin, you also get to have your picture posted. Well, only if you want to...but I mean who wouldn't? Past winners have recieved fan mail, marriage propsals and commercial endorsements ;) This week's trivia question is a bit easier as we had complaints last time that we made it a bit too difficlt. Ok, here's the question: On which Distortions episode does Jen yell the phrase "goodnight Chicago, we love you!" Click the image above to take you to the Gelaskins site to choose a skin and email us at contact@bionicbuddha.com with your trivia answer and skin preference.
Have fun.

Hear me roar

There's a new episode of Mostly Weird News. It's less weird than usual and not as fun but we thought it was important to talk about as we felt strongly about the subject matter. Check out the "no-download" flash version here or click the image above to take you to the episode page.
Peace.

Who cries for the children? I do

The following is a bionicbuddha exclusive world premier announcement from our friend Dave Meniketti who has been working on a secret project. Here are the details: On May 20th and 21st in 1985 40 heroic artists from the hard rock and metal community gathered at A&M Records Studios to make a record and single called “Stars” to raise money for famine relief efforts in Africa. Now, slightly over 20 years later they are assembling again, this time they are going to create peace in the Middle East by re-recording the smash hit single, “Stars”. Back then they were called Hear’N’Aid, this time rumours indicate that they may be renamed “Fear’N’Aid”. The 80’s lineup featured lead vocals from Ronnie James Dio (Dio), Dave Meniketti (Y&T), Rob Halford (Judas Priest), Kevin Dubrow (Quiet Riot), Eric Bloom (Blue Öyster Cult), Geoff Tate (Queensryche) and Don Dokken (Dokken).
Preclusions from this year’s lineup will include Rob Halford from Judas Priest. Halford commented on his exclusion by stating, “it’s because I’m f@*%#$ gay isn’t it? F@&# you Marky Mark and that shi#@y movie Rock Star, we all know it was about me”.
Ronnie James Dio, founder of both Hear’N’Aid projects reported that the Fear’N’Aid lineup will include Daron Malakian (System of a Down), Aaron Lewis from Staind, David Draiman from Disturbed, Corey Taylor (Slipknot), Brandon Boyd (Incubus) and Scooter Ward from Cold. Also returning this year will be Don Dokken and Geoff Tate from Queensryche. Dio was quoted as saying, “you can’t refuse guys as pretty as Don and Geoff”
When asked about Aaron Lewis of Staind singing his famed line, “We are calling you, calling you”, Tate of Queensryche who sang the original verse replied, “It’s my f*@#%in’ line, he can’t have it”.
Dio pledged to film a video in Lebanon this week and assist those fleeing combat by setting up a “peace corridor” guarded by 780 guitar soloists from heavy metal’s finest. “I like to call it a bridge to freedom” Dio joked, “get it?...Bridge?...Like a guitar bridge or the bridge to a song…..cough….it’s a double entendre”.
Metallica’s James Hetfield snubbed from Stars for a second time was quoted as saying, “Dio, I am madly in anger with you, tic, tic, tic, toc”.
Dio’s lyrics are true now as they were back then (this is also an ode to our blog friend Freak Magnet)…”Some time in the night, when you're feeling the cold, take a look at the sky above you. Those are faces in the light if the story were told. They are calling you, calling you”.
If you have never had the pleasure of seeing the original video and song "Stars" by Hear'N'Aid see it here on YouTube.
Peace.