Bionic Buddha is a website dedicated to content for multimedia devices. The Victory5 TV network headlines shows such as 'Distortions' (an anecdotal music trivia show), 'Mostly Weird News' (odd but weird news stories from around the world), 'Rewired'(unique website reviews), films shorts and more. These shows are typically under 3 minutes in length and customized for your PDA, mobile, cell, ipod or home fun viewing.

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Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Oops I Did It Again!

With Britney Spears set for her sitcom debut on the March 30 episode of Will & Grace, one member of our production team here at Bionic Buddha has been especially keen on following her every appearance. (OK, I'll admit - it is Dave the producer...seen in the blog below) The good thing is, he hasn't been formally charged with anything at this point, and his group therapy sessions have done wonder for his mood swings; which has increased everyone's morale around our studios.

As a result of this keen interest, it has come to our attention, that anyone who (for some crazy reason) might just want to belong to Britney's official fan club; they would have to pay for the privledge. Yes, you too can belong...for a mere $24.98 USD for a one year membership (for US and Canadian residents) or $29.98 USD for a one year membership (for residents outside US and Canada). This might be a reasonable charge, except that the only value it seems to provide is access to a website with chatroom and message board as well as advance ticket privledges (for already overpriced tickets).

As most of Brittney's fan base is likely teenagers and younger children, the burden of this expense falls squarely upon the shoulders of the if enduring the torture of listening to those mindless pop songs is not enough.

With musicians such as Bono promoting such worthwhile causes as ending world poverty, I don't particularly consider the Britney fanclub membership to be an expense I can justify at this point.

Perhaps when pigs fly, or he@@ freezes over I might reconsider. Maybe at that time Britney will even be nominated for a nobel peace prize or a mother-of-the-year award. Until then, I'll have to be content to watch her on Will and Grace, and listen to her in every shopping mall, waiting room, and office building that I enter.

If you haven't already, check out Distortions, Jen Tilley discusses some of the backwards lyrics which are coded in one of Britney's songs...

Victory 5 Network - movies, tv shows, music and more for your cell phones and portable devices - the world's first & only tv network for your portable devices

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Hit Me Baby One More Time

victory 5 network - videos, music, news and more for your ipod, psp, cellphone and portable devices

There's been a resuscitation of sorts on the subject of backwards messages in songs. It's not that eldritch stuff from the 70's like Kiss and Led Zeplin. The new material is almost farcical with concealed messages obscured in the Pokemon Rap and Britney Spears lyrics. Although, Jeff Buckley's song, "Witches Rave" does revive (70's rock) venerable, unearthly motifs as it contains the backwards passage, "Oh hear me well, this I fear". It makes no bloody sense to me in all honesty...but what a great segue to announce that our newest episode of Distortions has been posted on the bionic buddha mainsite. This episode's theme is backwards messages. We also decided to post some pictures of some of the crew and our rising star, Jennifer Tilley on the set of the show. The director, Dave seemed a bit heavy on the punch that day of the shoot and decided to wheel around the Victory 5 studio in between takes. We have been corroborating with some brilliant people on myspace to produce future material and content. Ruby from the band babygod in Glascow, Scotland is presently filming a commercial for the Victory 5 Network. Please check out some of her films on her website at vidilife. I am exceptionally addicted to the babygod video and song, "One for the Boys". Another thank-you to Steve at Stumble Records for his ongoing countenance. You can see the Knucklehead/Stumble Records ad when you load the new episode of Distortions here.
We have also been developing a new show called "Your News" and are seeking video submissions related to your news stories, it can be anything that you would like to promote or talk about. Don't worry about the format or the polish, we''ll take care of that. Submit it to

Friday, March 24, 2006

A glitch in the Matrix

I recently discovered a list that consisted of actors who turned down what were to become famous roles. Here are three of the most interesting in my opinion:
1. Sean Connery turned down the role of Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, that was picked up by Sir Ian McKellan. It was reported that Connery didn't know what the hell, "Bobbits" were.
2. Gene Hackman was supposed to play the role of Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs, while Michelle Pfiffer was to have the role of FBI lead that went to Jodie Foster. Pfiffer thought the film was "too dark". Hackman just dropped out of the project.
3. Both Ewan McGregor and Will Smith reportedly turned down the role of Neo in the blockbuster, The Matrix. The role went to Keanu Reeves. Smith was quoted as saying, "I wasn't smart enough an actor, to let the movie be".
Well, we at bionic buddha do have a fondness for trivia tidbits, our Victory 5 Television Network does have programs such as Mostly Weird News and Distortions that consistently present curious information. Til next time.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Lewis Skolnick is a rapist

I recently watched the egregious geek classic, Revenge of the Nerds. I had this persistent intuition that something was wrong throughout the film...and then, a-ha!, I realized that Lewis Skolnick was a rapist. Let's observe the facts...Lewis and his nerd buddies poach underwear from pretty coeds, surreptitiously plant a hidden camera in the women's dorm (illegal in most states I believe) and finally Lewis masquerades as Stan Gable (Ted McGinley) to sleep with Stan's girlfriend, Betty. To compound matters before that last point in the film, Lewis repeatedly harassed Betty to go out with him, knowing, I might add that she had a boyfriend. When she declined, Mr. Skolnick constructed an unscrupulous scheme that included infringing on Betty’s privacy through secret video surveillance, all in the name of love. I don't know about you but that sounds an awful like stalking and criminal harassment to me. Throughout these transgressions we cheer on those lovable nerds. Sure, those Alpha-Betas were a bit mean to them, but when was the last time “mean” was illegal? I say, bring back those Alpha-Betas jocks to kick some nerd ass…and this time around you’ll have my undivided endorsement. Don’t hate Stan because he’s beautiful Lewis.

William Shatner: Has Been

We at the BionicBuddha are always busy, however from time to time we pause to reflect on some milestone in life. Today, on the 75th anniversary of his birth, we are stopping to remember William Shatner.

Having a career which has run the gamut from: "Howdy Doody", "Star Trek," "T.J. Hooker" and "Boston Legal", it is difficult to write a brief bio on anyone who has done everything from Shakespearean drama to slapstick (and that was just with his first 3 wives)!

At any rate, it is great to see a man who has saved the earth in 3 TV episodes and 2 movies continue to challenge and command audiences with the release of his latest album, Has Been (produced by Ben Folds). A man of action; he has, over the years, demonstrated shoulder rolls and flying leg kicks and even sold his kidney stone for $25,000 to I wonder what they might pay for some expired sandwich meat and a few slices of "day-old" wonderbread ?

Although he is often lampooned, it is nice to recognize the birthday of a man who once rebutted his make-believe persona with the statement: "And when I speak, I never, ever talk like every. Word is. Its own. Sentence."

If you haven't already, do yourself a favour and check out, "Space Squadron and the Time Condenser"; it is certain to entertain even the most demanding of William Shatner fans...

Congratulations William Shatner, Has Been!

Victory 5 Network - movies, tv shows, music and more for your cell phones and portable - the world's first & only tv network for your portable devices

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Thank You

Thank you everyone for your continued support to what we are doing here at Victory 5 and, that is, creating the world's first television network for mobile phones and mobile media. We have been getting a great deal of traffic from regions of the world we never expected. Please send us email with your comments and criticisms at

Monday, March 20, 2006

Jack Bauer not really 24/7

Having seen the TV show '24' and understood the idea behind it - I always wondered how Jack Bauer managed to sleep, eat and go to the bathroom. Pundits would say, suspend disbelief man! - but I have found out - through careful calculations - how the Jack Attack manages to keep up his tight schedule and get is obligatory 'down time'.

This is another Victory 5 first, never seen anywhere else in the world.

Let's see what we know :
24 has 22-23 (24 for sake of argument) episodes a season.
A season of 24 is supported by 1 hour per episode leading to the magic number of 24 - 24 episodes (well 22-23) each an hour equates to a 24 hour day.

Now, the fun part. With the advent of DVD and the past seasons availabe sans commercials, I found that the Jack Attack Bauer's '24' really only comprises of 42 minutes (approx) per episode. If that is so - and there is 24 episodes (for the sake of argument) per season, it is therefore 1008 minutes for a day in Jack Bauer's life (42X24=1008).

Let's dissect it further - 1008 minutes divided by 60 (minutes in a hour) gives us the number of hours per day he is working, saving lives or being melodramatic : 16.8 hours a day. The magic number - giving him about 7.2 hours of sleep, eat and bathroom time. Jack Bauer, you are terrific.

Another Victory 5 first.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Victory 5 is the world's FIRST and ONLY TV network for cell phones and portable devices! has been saying it quietly for some time - whispering it while turning the up the stereo really loud or leaving the taps running during our hushed conversations, but all modesty aside :

We are the FIRST and ONLY TV network for cellular/mobile phones & portable devices. No small feat either, considering we are the world's first.

We are continuing to push the barriers of content for portable devices. Not satisfied to take existing bland material and put it into your devices - instead, we make ORIGINAL content exclusively with the portable device in mind. That way, when you are on the bus, the train, the tube or anywhere that you need brain scrambling content, the Victory5 network provides.

Friday, March 17, 2006

We Don't Need No Education

Recently, former Pink Floyd guitarist, David Gilmour has come under some media scrutinty for his decision not to play one of the band's classic rock hits at last year's Live8 concert.

Apparently while former bandmate, Roger Waters was keen for the group to perform Another Brick In The Wall, Gilmour pointed out the lyrics, "We don't need no education" and "If you don't eat yer' meat, you can't have any pudding" were not suitable for the gig, which aimed to raise awareness of poverty in Africa, where many children are malnourished and uneducated. Gilmour explains, "(The song) was way off message. "Anyway, I don't like it much. It's all right, but not part of the great emotional oeuvre. "

Here at Bionic Buddha we prefer our oeuvres with toast and hollandaise sauce, if you can catch our meaning.

For more great news stories from the world of rock and roll check out Victory 5's own "Distortions", hosted by the multi talented Jennifer Tilley.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Working Stiff

Just wanted to let everyone know that there's a new episode of Rewired posted on our main site, Victory 5 has also recently completed filming several other episodes that we will post periodically following completion of production. In our new episode the Professor discusses how you can protect yourself against the government's conspiracy to control your mind through radio waves. We have also been recieving some complaint mail regarding the Professor's "stiffness". In future episodes the professor addresses this issue and answers some of your questions and fan letters. Look for your name, he may have responded to your suggestions on an upcoming episode.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Hanoi Rocks

It has been a busy day today for posting but I had to add that Bionic Buddha has a new friend, his blog is called Vietnamese God..he's not kidding. On his site you will observe and incident some remarkable Vietnamese panoramas, absorbing footnotes and valuable recipes. Thanks GK. Check out this blog from our link at the side of the page or from here.

Pimp films

Movie Pimp is a new show that we've been developing at bionicbuddha and victory 5 that requires a host. We had filmed two episodes with a great host who was unfortunately unable to continue this role. Send us an email with a brief narrative about yourself and why you'd make a great host. We do ask that you have great depth and knowledge related to all genres of film. Send that email to
I realized that I had a forum to discuss interesting things and never took the opportunity to do so. Well, since we were on the subject of film, I thought I'd share this little known gem with you. One of my recent film favourites for its silliness is Wild Zero. Let me summarize the plot below:

After a meteor strikes the earth, aliens invade the planet, turning humans into zombies. Our hero Ace becomes blood brother to Japanese Rock legend, Guitar Wolf. Together with Tobio, the true love of Ace, they battle the would be conquorers and other forces of evil. I have to say, the movie has one of the cutest Japenese chicks I have ever seen, and she's not even a girl. That's right...she's a man, man. You'd be a fool not to see this one.


13, still an unlucky number

On this day in 1993, Shane Seyer a thirteen-year-old Kansas boy was ordered by courts to pay child suppport after getting his seventeen-year-old babysitter pregnant. Get more stories like this from our strange but true news source, Mostly Weird News. We have just completed filming for all our Victory 5 television shows and will have new episodes up soon.
As we continue to develop new shows, we are also in the hunt for hosts. If you have ever aspired to be in front of a camera then send us an email with a bit about yourself outlining why you'd make a great host. Send your submission through our bionicbuddha main site contact page. Good luck, we look forward to hearing from you.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Dharma Bum

Today, March 12 marks the anniversary of the birth date of Jack Kerouac. The famous American poet and writer is credited with orginating the term, "beat generation". The band 10, 000 Maniacs' veneration for Kerouac is exhibited in their song, "Hey Jack Kerouac". It is also the birthday of Graham Coxon from Blur.
I recently found out the origin of the phrase, "I'll be a son of a gun". It's a nautical term. Early warships had cramped quarters resulting in sailors having to sleep between cannons or "guns". Often ships would also keep prostitutes resulting in the occasional pregnancy. These women often gave birth between the cannons. That's why male children were called "son of a gun".

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Brave New World

As a way of reaching out to the world and in typical DIY fashion, bionicbuddha and victory 5 have a myspace page. Join our growing list of friends. We have a link to our myspace page on our blog here but you can also find us here at:
Judging by the emerging list of return visitors I know that many of you have been waiting patiently (somewhat) for new episodes of various programs. All new episodes are in production and should be on our website in the upcoming weeks. Next week however, there will be a new episode of Rewired for viewing. It's as weird and quirky as ever.

Thanks again to our sponsor Stumble records. Click on the link below to view a catalogue of very cool Rockabilly and Punk music.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Backstage at the Oscars

Backstage at the Oscars

The Buddha recently went back stage at the Oscars to attempt an interview with a famous celebrity. After being kicked out of various press conferences and media presentations, our pertinacious reporter finally landed a conversation with Brody VanDooglemeister (gaffer, key grip, and best boy). Brody is best known for some of his earlier work in the golden cinema age of "the talkies", but his legacy can also be seen in Victoy 5's own Distortions with Jennifer Tilley:

BB: Brody, you have seen a lot of stars in your illustrious career, what would you say was the most memorable moment you have had in your working life?

BV: I can't even remember my own birthday, I wish you kids would stop asking me stupid questions. When do they bring out the finger sandwiches?

BB: Fair enough. That was a tough question, let's move on. Can you think of anyone who inspired you when you were growing up...perhaps some of the greats: Copland, Rimsky-Korsakov, Glazunov or Prokofiev?

BV: Those guys were hacks, in fact, if you see Galzunov, tell him he still owes me ten bucks!

BB: OK. Last question...if you could live your life over again, having gained all the knowledge you have over these years, what would you do differently?

BV: I never would have agreed to talk to you!

Well, we never promised it would be great, but the Buddha always delivers bringing you the story FROM the red carpet, BEHIND the scenes (er, maybe that's more like UNDERNEATH the red carpet and BEHIND the trees).

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