Safety Dance

So today at our office we decided to put on a sort of impromptu show for a staff of about 150 for Halloween. We decided to recreate the video, Thriller by Michael Jackson. I must say it went over quite well and was delivered with some ad lib and plenty aplomb. We only had one day to practice the choreographed dance sequence. During practice yesterday, I accidentally clocked the girl beside me, almost knocking her out cold. Later that day she complained how hear head was still aching. I replied, “now you know what it feels like to be an Eastern European housewife"…I joke…speaking of Eastern Europeans…we at bionicbuddha are excited to see the new Borat film….one of my all time favourite Borat lines occurs when Borat is at a wine tasting and after having too much to drink, laments to some companions that his mother never loved him, “she say she wish I was never born…she say , she wish she was raped by someone else”. Happy Halloween.

Borat is "bad taste and ill manners"...that never stopped Jerry Springer !!

It appears that 20th Century Fox has cut in half the number of theaters that had been booked to show "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan". Perhaps they think that middle-America will not "get" Borat, or that as Bruce Snyder (Fox distribution chief) told the Los Angeles Times that despite enormous pre-release publicity and marketing, the studio's research had concluded that the movie was "soft in awareness." I wonder if any of this was related to Borat's UK premiere in London's Leicester Square, where he addressed the audience "Good evening gentlemen and prostitutes. After this I stay in a hotel in Kings Cross, you must come and join me. We will all drink, wrestle with no clothes on and shoot dogs from the window." I don't know what Fox's problem is, that already sounds like a regular Wednesday in many parts of the country.

Get the funk out

Well, this recommendation comes about a decade too late, but I don’t suppose anyone has heard of the show, Funky Squad? It was a 70’s cop parody from Australia that aired in 1995. Borrowing a bit from the Mod Squad, the team of Funky Squad were sexy, young and hip undercover cops, so cool that they were able to pass undetected among kids on the street. You dig? Grant was the suave group leader, Cassie the brains and beauty…rowr, Stix the kick-some-ass hero with the Afro haircut, and Poncho was a brainy, mute with electronics savvy (he lost his tongue stopping a bullet with his mouth). Of course, they all answered to the Chief, an intense and dramatic senior officer. Flares, tank-tops, paisley shirts, tasselled waistcoats, disco hairdos and all the other elements of early 1970s fashions were exploited to absurdity. If you can find it on the net, I highly recommend checking it out, you’ll laugh your ass off. Steve Irwin, rest in peace.

Garageland, the ballad of Steve Stumble

I'm not saying we're bigger than Jesus, or better than Jesus...

So here are some little known facts about the Buddha. There are several people that play an integral role in the development and hosting of our television shows on our main site www.bionicbuddha.com. Here is a summary of our ecclectic and combined historic backgrounds: personal fitness trainer, game show developer, magazine publicist, teacher, military historian, syndicated comic strip cartoonist, bar owner, government tax auditor, financial broker, government investigator and telecommunications representative.
Me, I am a government investigator, outside making internet based television shows for multimedia devices. Sorry about the vague description regarding "what type of investigator specifically", however as I am still employed in this particular field I did not want to get too descriptive about my role. I wanted to tell you about a particularly interesting investigation, well the investigation wasn’t that interesting but the person involved as a witness was fascinating. I went into the home of this 80 year old Croatian grandmother that spoke with broken English. She had a room that was a shrine dedicated to Jesus and other Catholic iconography. At the top of a wall decorated with multiple pictures of Jesus was a single picture of Elvis. I asked her, “Why do you have a picture of Elvis above all the pictures of Jesus?”. The Croatian grandmother replied, “I love Jesus, but I love Elvis even more”. God bless.

Peace.

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup

Since rat hair and insects in the processed food we eat is pretty much inevitable, The American Food and Drug Administration was required to determine how much crap was too much. Here are some standards fit for for human consumption:
1. In canned spinach: 2 or more caterpillars whose lenth is not more than 24 mm per 24 pounds of spinach.
2. In canned tomatoes: 2 or more maggots or 10 or more fly eggs in 500 grams
3. In ginger: 3 or more milligrams of mamal feces per pound
4. In ground oregano: 1,250 or more insect parts in 10 grams
5. In pasta products: 225 insect parts in more than 225 grams
I will add one last item to close things up…wheat…9 milligrams of rat feces in a kilogram. I was going comment on how half the cereals out there tast like s*#t, but that would be a bit too easy now, wouldn’t it? Somehow the “revelations” in the film, Supersize Me don’t seem so bad any more.
Peace.

running with the devil

There's a new episode of Distortions on our bionicbuddha main site. Since our original show on backwards messages was so popular, we thought we'd make another...so here it is, backwards messages in songs 2.
We have been busy filming new episodes for our existing lineup of Victory 5 television shows and developing new ones we hope to release soon. You can see the latest episode of Distortions on our homepage in a no download flash version or click the image above to take you to the episode page.
Peace.