The Grinch Who Stole Thanksgiving

Billy Dee Williams can't bring himself to ever celebrate Thanksgiving. He told newspaper reporters, "It was the arrival of the Europeans which disrupted the entire Native American civilization and I think that was a tragedy." His high moral principles would likely be more credible if he wasn't well known for his appearances in advertisements for Colt 45, a low-cost brand of malt liquor. Before he cashed his pay cheques from the malt liquor manufacturer, I wonder if he ever thought about what impact alcohol had on the Native American civilization? Williams has also appeared in several commercials for Psychic Readers Network. It is too bad, they couldn't give him some career advice for accepting a role in Undercover Brother...You mess with da fro, you gotta go.

Shred til you're dead

Prof. Brown tackles an 80's issue that should have died a long time ago - crotch-rocket-guitar rockin' this week on Rewired. Guitar shredding to the max, heavy metal, hairbands - all those things sensible people choose not to remember fondly. We all of course realise that nobody did it better then Bill N Ted, and yet it seems that Jack Black and Kyle Gass feels there is something left in this dying (dead) area of rock 'and or' roll - if you are curious, they are wrong and the movie is even more wronger (read as Winger).
In any event Tenacious D is now taking their act on the road as Spinal Tap did. Creating heavy metal ballads and arena stomping anthems seems to be their idea of resurrecting the past. For this I say, the guitar gods are not pleased - not pleased at all.
A Bionicbuddha insider tells us that one of the founding members of BB is a skid at heart. I ( D-Squared) wrote this and can unequivocally tell you it is not me. On that note, I will let you guess who is...

Things to do when you're dead

I recently came across this very peculiar list of things to do when you're dead. For example:
1. Become a barrier reef, a company called Eternal Reefs mixes your cremated ashes with environmentally friendly concrete and drops you in the ocean...soon enough you'll be home to turtles and fish. Prices vary from about $900 to $5,000.
2. To the moon Alice! A company called Celestis will send between one and seven grams of you into space or to the moon, you pick. Don't have the cost on that one.
3. Shine on you crazy diamond. LifeGem takes carbon from your ashes and turns it/you into a flawless diamond, well usually about 50, one carat stones. Each stone costs about $14,000.00
4. There's plenty more but this is the last one. Real finger painting. Eternally Yours Everlasting Art will paint a canvas and sprinkle some of your ashes on the artwork, sealing it afterward.
I think I'm completely depressed now, I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
On a lighter note, we welcome a new/old friend to blogger, his blog is called Gomez Looks Thoughtful. Also check out A Bowl of Cherries, another new blogger friend. By the way, if you have linked to us and we haven't linked back, please let us know about the oversight, much appologies and we'd be happy to create a banner link in return.
Peace.

Float On

There's a new episode of Distortions on the origins of band names. Included in the list are Belle and Sebastian, Modest Mouse, The Misfits and Nofx. As always, it's hosted by the lovely Jen Tilley. Check it out and get back to us with your feedback. Click the image above to take you to the episode page or go to www.bionicbuddha.com as it is features on our home page as well. It's not on this episode but did you know that the Ramones got their name from a Beatles reference? Paul McCartney originally wanted to go by the name, Paul Ramone. We also have some flash banners at the top of the blog that will take you to our bionicbuddha television and film homepage and another banner taking you to the episode I just told you about :)
Peace.

Dear Diary: Today I ate.

Renee Zellwigger had to pad out her costume for her upcomming role as children's author Beatrix Potter, because she couldn't put on enough weight. It is funny that she was able to pile on the pounds as Bridget Jones, yet she struggles to eat regular meals while on the new movie's set.

According to media sources, Zellwigger believes that digesting food "saps her creative energies". I wonder if this is what Nicole Ritchie is suffering from? Perhaps they could both take a break from being so darn creative and just visit a buffet table once in a while. It kind of makes you wonder how Elvis did it all those years!

oops, not again

Sorry but that last post titled "smell the roses" was deleted due to a technical error.
My bad.

Hoff with his head!

David Hasselhoff insists any boy who messes with his daughter’s heart can expect a very painful amputation and in a very delicate area, too.

In typical Hasselhoff eloquence he revealed to press sources, "My oldest daughter is dating an older boy, so I said to her, 'You're only 16. There's plenty of time to have sex and fall in love.' To him, I said, 'If you hurt my daughter in any way, I will take you outside and I will cut your thing off. I will have no problem spending the rest of my life in prison,'".

This startling statement surfaces under somewhat ironic circum...stances, since just last month Hasselhoff was accused of trying to bed a blonde beautician young enough to be his daughter. His estranged wife has also accused the actor of being unfaithful and abusing their children and alleged that her ex-husband failed to reveal he had a sexually transmitted disease when they got married.

"Hasselhoff has Herpes"...wouldn't that make a great headline, if only the world didn't have other more pressing news.

Following on other Hasselhoff stories: Mel Brooks' famous musical 'The Producers' will open in Las Vegas and Hasselhoff will play the dress wearing Richard Debris, a role he is looking forward to.

During a press release Hasselhoff stated, "I'm just going to bring my own flair and the comedy of the Chrysler building, I'll be fun. It'll be lots of fun. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to have fun. I need to have fun. And God came to me and said you had enough stuff in your life the last year. Here's fun. And I'm going to have fun every night and that's the key."

So let me just get this straight: David Hasselhoff potentially abused his ex-wife and daughters, he threatens to "Bobitt" his daughter's boyfriend, and he is very excited about wearing a dress every night and singing to large crowds in Las Vegas. Is it just me or could this be a sign of the end times??

we can work it out

We are back with new episodes for all our shows...Victory 5 television was on hiatus while filming new programs. On this new episode of Rewired, Professor Brown teaches you the fundamentals of how to call in sick by using a web site that pre-records your “sick” phone call to your boss and then allows you to set the phone number you want to display and the time you want to leave the message-preferrably when no one is in the office. You get to sleep in anywhere and not have to get up or get back home following a drunken evening for example to make that call so your home number shows up...easy...but check out the site while it's still legal, there may be some implications from being able to have any number appear while calling people. See the flash version of the show here or click the image to take you to the episode page.
Peace.